


The Date that never was

by adventuresofJo



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M, The Date, aliens made them (not) do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 08:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13783650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventuresofJo/pseuds/adventuresofJo
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness doesn't date. Or so he thinks.





	The Date that never was

Captain Jack Harkness does not date. He doesn’t! Dates mean commitment, and when you’re immortal, commitment doesn’t usually end well. He’s just having dinner with a handsome Welshman in a fancy Italian place. After they went to the Electro. Though he and his not-date didn’t see much of the film because the moment the lights went out, there was making out and heavy petting to do. Ianto certainly didn’t seem to mind.

Okay, so maybe this could be called a date. Their night isn’t over yet, but still. Ianto deserves to go on dates. It-

“Jack? You alright there?”

Jack blinks and sees Ianto’s blue eyes trained on him.

“Hmm?”

“I asked if you have decided on starters yet, but you look like you’re thinking very hard about something”, Ianto says with a smile.

“It’s nothing. Why don’t you pick something?”

“The arancini sounds delicious” Ianto says, his voice equally delicious when uttering words like arancini.

Jack figures he’d be able to convince Ianto to read the rest of the menu out loud. Or maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea after all, he’s barely able to control himself after one word, never mind a whole menu. Though maybe he’d be able to snag a copy to take ho- to Ianto’s flat tonight. That could be fun.

“Yeah, sure, sounds good. Let’s order.”

Just when Ianto signals the waiter to order, Jack’s vortex manipulator beeps. Weevil alert. Of fucking course.

Ianto looks up, raises an eyebrow.

Jack sighs. “Weevil. Louisa Place, we’re the closest. Rain check?”

“Rain check”, Ianto answers, already getting up to grab their coats.

 

***

 

Maybe Captain Jack Harkness goes on dates. Well, he tries to. After the previous attempt to take Ianto on a date, they had ended up coated in mud and stinking of the Cardiff sewers. Weevils are annoying that way. However, Jack was able to convince Ianto to make a detour to the Hub to shower there, as Jack’s personal shower is slightly larger than the one at Ianto’s flat, which allowed for more…active showers.

Tonight though, he is prepared. He made sure Owen is babysitting the rift and Tosh ought to be on stand-by.

Jack holds open to door of Chez Francis, ushering Ianto inside and out of the rain. He knows how Ianto feels about his new grey woolen coat. In which he looks gorgeous, so Jack is determined to keep the coat in peak condition.

“Bonsoir,” he greets the hostess, “a table for two please” and throws in a wink for good measure. That usually gets him seated faster. He and Ianto plan to go dancing after dinner, so the sooner they finish eating, the sooner he can impress Ianto with his skill in ballroom dancing.  
The hostess leads them to a quiet corner in the restaurant and with a quick “your server will be with you shortly”, leaves them to sit down in peace.

“How do you feel about some wine tonight? White, red, rosé? Some of that Pinot Noir Valmoissime you like?” Ianto asks Jack, face blank but eyes sparkling. He damn well knows how Jack feels about his using foreign words, the sneaky fucker. Well, two can play that game.  
“I was thinking of some red Chateauneuf Du Pape, or maybe a bottle of that Domnaine de Baussac Carignan they have here? I heard it goes especially well with the tartiflette.”

When Ianto looks up with darkened eyes, Jack knows he struck home.

Ianto clears throat. “I trust you to pick something nice.”

Jack grins and opens his mouth to sum up some other “nice” things he has in mind, when Ianto’s phone beeps. He frowns as Ianto checks to see who is calling.

Ianto mouths “Tosh” as he accepts the call.

“Tosh, everything okay? He what? Well, have you tried…No of course. It’s just that I’m in a restaurant and… No, no, I understand. And Gwen…Obviously. No, okay, we’ll be there in 15. Okay. Stay safe Tosh.”

“What is it?” Jack asks. It seems like their night out is about to be canceled.

“Tosh says something came through the rift half an hour ago. Owen took it to the hub, but apparently he’s been hallucinating for the past five minutes and he won’t let Tosh go near him. Gwen isn’t picking up her phone, so she called us. I guess we’ll have to put off our plans for tonight.”

Jack really doesn’t want to go. Then again, Tosh would not have called unless she really needed their help. With a pained nod to the hostess, he and Ianto rush out of the restaurant. Their date hadn’t even properly started yet.

 

***

 

Captain Jack Harkness really wants to date. He wants to go on a proper, complete date with Ianto Jones, whom he definitely lo- likes enough to take on a date. So far, he has been unsuccessful. Last time he tried, neither Jack nor Ianto had the energy to sit down for dinner and go dancing afterwards, when they broke the hold the Zocci radiation device had over Owen. They did end up doing a version of the tango -the horizontal one- but that’s not the same as going on an actual date.

And Jack wants to.

He and Ianto are walking to The Hellenic Eatery for Greek food. Their day has been quiet so far, with only one insignificant rift alert (space junk is so boring) and not even a weevil to disturb the rest in the hub. It’s not even raining! Jack figures today will be a good day. Food, a concert and then a cup of Ianto’s coffee. The perfect night.

He links his arm through Ianto’s as they walk to the restaurant.

“Quiet night tonight,” he says.

Ianto bumps his shoulder against Jack and stays close, almost leaning on him. That way Jack smells the aftershave Ianto is wearing and it’s mesmerising how good he smells.

“Hmm. I hope you didn’t jinx it, I was just starting to enjoy myself” Ianto replies.

They walk for another 10 meters when suddenly someone bumps into Ianto.

“Excuse me, didn’t’s see - WHAT THE BUGGERING FUCK!” the stranger yells, holding Ianto’s stun gun, which was in his coat pocket only seconds ago, like it is a bomb about to go off.

“Hey!- That’s mine!”

“WHY THE FUCK – A GUN what the hell, I’m so sorry man, please don’t hurt me I’ve got a girlfriend and-“

“Shut. Up.” Ianto is radiating anger. If this petty thief knows what’s good for him he’d keep his mouth-

“No for real, I didn’t mean to, I-“

“I SAID SHUT UP. Now. You will give that back. This. Instant. You will walk into the nearest constabulary and confess your crime. You will return all the good you’ve stolen. My date here has a loaded gun and he’s rather trigger happy. So I advise you to do as I say. Quietly.”

Good God, Ianto’s hot when he’s pissed. No one should be allowed to be so hot. It’s not fair.  
The thief puts the stun gun on the pavement and backs away. Ianto glares. Jack salivates. The thief slowly walks away, glancing over his shoulder every 5 meters to check if they’re still watching him.

When he’s finally out of sight, Jack can’t control himself any longer and turns to grab Ianto and kiss him. Enthusiastically. Maybe a little inappropriately. Definitely not chastely. There might be some bum-grabbing involved.

At first, Ianto freezes, but when Jack runs his tongue along Ianto’s lower lip, Ianto responds in kind.

When Jack leans back to take a breath (even immortals need air breaks when kissing), Ianto sighs.

“You shouldn’t have said it. You jinxed it.”

“’M sorry. You’re so hot when you’re pissed. Can we – please- just go back to yours?”

Ianto rolls his eyes, but grabs Jack’s hand and starts walking.

“I suppose we’ll call the restaurant to ask if they do deliveries.”

 

***

 

Jack feels like If he doesn’t take Ianto on a date soon, there might be…consequences. After the fiasco that was their attempt at Greek food, Ianto made Jack sleep on his sofa. To make matters even worse, it was right after they had sex, because Ianto could be mean like that. Jack had been enjoying the afterglow of some athletic irritation-fuelled sex when Ianto suddenly pushed him off the bed and told him it was his fault they hadn’t been able to finish their date, so he had to sleep on Ianto’s sofa, which admittedly was rather comfortable, but it was the principle, damnit.

So yes, Jack is scared for what Ianto might do if their next attempt at going out fails…Ianto might even put him on decaf at the hub. Jack would not survive.

He has a plan put in place though. Jack has done some calculations: every time they went on a date after work, something work-related happened and the date would be cut short. Every. Single. Time. So, why not switch things up? The first time he managed to ask Ianto on the notorious date, was on the job.

Today, Jack and Ianto are in London, where UNIT requires Torchwood’s help with an artefact. As he and Ianto are in a taxi on their way to the location where the object landed, he proposes his plan.

“So, about that date…” he begins, but Ianto interrupts him.

“Jack, honestly, I want to have a proper date as much as you do, but now might not be the right time to plan things. We don’t even know how long we’ll be in London. The job might be done tonight, but there’s a good chance we’ll still be here for several days-“

“Which is why I think we should combine the two. Sure, we’re here for work, but why can’t we enjoy ourselves while we’re here? We could see a musical, have dinner. That’s what people do when in London, isn’t it?”

Ianto squints and purses his lips. Those beautiful lips. They feel so good when they lock with Jack’s own, and when they travel down his chest on the way to – FOCUS JACK.

“- if you think we could manage that.”

“Hmm?”

Ianto sighs, but it’s clear that he’s very well aware of where Jack’s mind was just now.

“I said, we could try to claim a unexpected Torchwood investigation at the Apollo Victoria Theatre, if you think we could manage that.”

Jack ponders this for a moment, already thinking of excuses as to why he and Ianto both have to be present at the theatre during a show.

“We can definitely do that. I think we might not even need an excuse, I’m pretty sure the current manager still owes me some…favours. This might just not be the favour she was thinking about when she told me I could have anything I wanted. Then again, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing for – “

“Jack” Ianto says pointedly. “Stop right there. If the musical is part of our date, there will be no third person. The date is just for us.”

Jack feels like an idiot. Of course he meant for the date to be just him and Ianto! He just can’t help himself; that manager has the nicest legs Jack has ever seen on a human woman.

“Yes, of course! I just, well, I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Jack says as he grabs Ianto’s hands between his, his eyes pleading.

Ianto simply raises an eyebrow.

“I swear! Of course our date is just for us, but maybe we could, y’know, ‘visit’ her after we had our date?”

“And with visit you mean…”

“Find out if we, as a couple, are into voyeurism? I don’t think Emily would mind. She’d enjoy herself” Jack says with a grin.

“After our date though, right?” Ianto asks.

“After our date”.

The driver stops and Jack is about to ask if they’ve arrived. Of course, that is when their taxi suddenly lifts of the ground, and the most horrifying screech fills the air. A purple tentacle smashes through the window and the driver throws up.

They just can’t catch a break, can they?

 

***

 

Jack has given up on dates. It’s just not meant to be. Last, he still had some hope, but now…He’s currently sitting on Ianto’s sofa, Ianto’s feet in his lap. There’s Indian take-out on the coffee table in front of them and the television is playing “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”.  
There really weren’t any other options for tonight; During the octalien (named as such by Ianto) debacle, Ianto broke his arm and is not allow to do any field work for another 5 weeks. Because of this, Jack is at Ianto’s apartment most nights; Ianto refused to take time of from work but he just isn’t able to do some things by himself. Like, you know, putting on his suits to go to work . Or taking them off…

Of course, this allows them to enact some nurse/patient fantasies, but still.

One date would have been nice.

Though, honestly? This could be a date. He and Ianto are eating together, watching a movie and Jack is 87% certain he can convince Ianto to have sex tonight.

As he looks at Ianto, sleepy and seemingly content to just be with Jack, he starts pondering. Maybe the whole dating thing isn’t about going out. Maybe it’s just about spending time with someone you lo- like. And that’s enough for Jack.

“What are you smiling about?” Ianto asks, his expression soft and affectionate.

“You. Us. This. I’m happy, this, you, me, some take-out and a movie, this makes me happy”, Jack answers.

“Good. I was thinking the same thing. Screw dating. This is nice” Ianto says, followed by a huge yawn.

“How about we clean this up tomorrow and get ourselves ready for bed?” he continues. “There was this article that said sex is good when you’re in pain. My arm hurts. So the logical next step would be-“

Jack interrupts Ianto with a kiss. Make that 100%, he’s getting lucky tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my friend Lien who is a treasure and the perfect Slytherin to my Hufflepuff. I'm sorry I dragged you into the pit of EMOTIONS and FEELINGS that is Janto. This one's for you! ♥


End file.
